Big news: I have mastered the stove in our apartment! You may scoff at this, but there are several factors that make this stove particularly tricky: there are no numbers on the dial, no form of low-high indication, and the knob never stops twirling. Makes for a very interesting experience when you are trying to boil a pot of water.

Today’s cooking adventure: linguine. First off, I got the thing to boil and then did the cooking pasta bit. However, I hit a snag when I tried to turn off the stove. The knob, like I said, never hit a catch to make it stop turning. So, I just turned it counter clock-wise a whole bunch of times, crossed my fingers, and sat down to wait. After checking the heat several times with my hand hovering over the hot plate, I deemed it to somehow have been successfully turned off. Pasta-making: check!

Other cooking appliances that I bested today: the coffee maker. The coffee maker itself is not hard to use; the difficulty lies in the finding of the ingredients to make said coffee. After 15 minutes of wandering around the grocery, I hung my head and finally went to go ask someone where the coffee filters were hiding.

Me: Uh, pardon, ou est les filters *said in french-y accent* du café?

Checkout girl: *very nice, but is confused as to what I just said* Euh.. comment?

Me: Um, les filtres? Les filtres du cafe? *holds up coffee grounds*

Checkout girl: Ah oui! Ce sont a coté du cafe.

Me: *hmm didn’t see them next to the coffee…* A la meme.. aisle?

Checkout girl: Aisle..? Ah oui, la meme allée *makes hand motion like an aisle*

Me: *sure I didn’t see them but okay..* La meme allée?

Checkout girl: *still very nice and looks a little bit pityingly at me* Oui, la meme allée.

Me: Merci, d’accord! *runs away*

Then of course I find them, right next to the coffee. She asks me if I found them when I come back to the checkout counter, and I sheepishly say that I did and thank her again.

Earlier today I encountered another strange European appliance. They don’t have these in all bathrooms, but I couldn’t help but take a picture when I saw this one:

Weird, right? It’s a continuous towel rack! Kindof grossed me out, inexplicably, since I’m sure it’s perfectly sanitary.

All right already Cannes film festival personnel. Enough is enough! I’m going to level with you: I AM NOT GOING TO STEAL YOUR FIRSTBORN TO GET INTO A MOVIE. It’s not that big of a deal! It’s a movie!

I was waiting yesterday for over an hour for Laurence Anyways, a film that’s in the running for Un Certain Regard this year at Cannes. I didn’t really mind waiting; I was content to sit against the wall and read Cannes daily magazines, because there are a bazillion and they’re all really cool.

I and two other college kids (at least I think they were; I’m a terrible judge of age) were sitting against the wall outside of the theater waiting for the movie admittance to start. Maybe 30- 45 minutes before the doors will open, the lady behind the front desk steps over to us.

Beige suit: Excuse me?

Three of us: *look up expectantly from our respective Cannes magazines*

Beige suit: You three need to move.

I grit my teeth, as this is not the first incident of the “beige suit superiority complex.” Lady, I have been sitting here for the past hour waiting for this movie with you right next to me sitting in your little desk thing. OBVIOUSLY I am here to see Laurence Anyways.

One of the college kids with me: Actually-

Beige suit: *starts making obnoxious “stand up” hand motions*

One of the college kids: *continues unperturbed* -actually, we are here waiting to see Laurence Anyways.

Beige suit: *looks shocked that we would be in a movie theater, outside of the theater doors, waiting to see a movie* Oh, well. You need to stand up.

All of us look at each other and share a mental is she serious and then have to scramble to pick up all of our stuff off the floor while she stands there watching. I can forgive her for this, rude though she was. But it continues.

Twenty or so minutes pass, and a lot of people start showing up. The producers of the movie arrive, and they start calling for people with “Buyers” badges, which is the usual protocol. Buyer badges are Marche du Film badges that have a purple stripe on them. 

Then we get people coming out of the woodwork from the back of the line trying to pretend their Marche du Film badges are buyer badges. Then, when they are inevitably turned away by the beige suit at the front, they hover by the front of the line so they can somehow subtly cut in. Come on. Not cool.

Since a bunch of people do this, we now have this big cluster of milling people at the front of the line, with a beige suit and the producers standing between us and the theater doors. I literally think at this point the beige suit thought that we were all going to mutiny and storm the theater.

Let’s put this in perspective, beige suit. This is a popular movie. This will be on Netflix or DVD in like 6 months and probably on the internet way before that. HOWEVER, we are not IN a movie, so you don’t need to play James Bond and protect the producers from the raving loonies, which would be us, apparently.

Beige suit comes out from behind her desk with the fiery wrath of God in her eyes. I and the two other college kids are basically in the front of the line.

Beige suit: Back up. Everyone who doesn’t have a Marche du Film badge, back up, now.

I have a Marche du Film badge, and plus, no one can back up since we are in a crowd. Its pretty hard to orchestrate one giant step back for thirty people.

Beige suit: Back! Up! Back up!

Beige suit proceeds to stiff arm everyone within her reach, including me, and forcibly starts pushing people back.

SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS. A.) Don’t touch me. B.) Call for freaking back up if you think a crowd of people is getting out of hand C.) DON’T TOUCH ME D.) Even more so, don’tpushme. You are not a police officer. You scan people’s movie tickets.

So I’m on the verge of tears at this point. My anger is directly connected with my tear ducts, which is often embarrassing and a huge nuisance. I just wanted to leave then, or smack her upside the head, because like I said, it’s just not worth it to be treated like a sheep.  

Anyways, I finally get in because I do have a Marche du Film badge. I wanted to thumb my nose at her as I walked by, but I figured I shouldn’t tempt fate.

After the movie was over, I went to a fancy restaurant and ordered something awesome off the menu, which was this: La Salade Landaise, with tomatoes, lettuce, walnuts, and smoked duck.

Food makes everything better, and the French definitely have plenty of it!

So, guys, guess what? *whispery excited voice* I’ve been lucky enough to have the chance to go to the Cannes flipping Film festival in Cannes, France!!!

For those who don’t know, the Cannes film festival is this giant festival that’s hosted every year in Cannes where hundreds of films are shown throughout the span of 11 days. Celebrities are everywhere because they come to promote their films, especially the ones who have films with evening red carpet premieres:

^Eva Herzigova, french model

And I love this country, good lord.

On my way to Casino this afternoon - Casino being the equivalent of a mini Publix - a friendly older gentleman does one of my worst fears- talking to me in rapid French like I’m a native:

Me: *walking along, thinking about french bread and its deliciousness*

Elder: Bonjour! Vous etes en vacances?

Me: *internally scrambles, clings to the word that sounds like vacation* Vacances? Oh oui! Vacances.

Elder: *looks at my jean shorts and questions my wardrobe choices* Il fait froid, non?

Me: Oui, je vais changer, plus tard. (this is what I think means “I’m going to change clothes later” but actually means “I’m going to transform.” Not sure what was going through his head at this point)

Elder: Ah bon! *something something* de l’Angleterre?

Me: *hears “angle” and thinks “english”* Oh oui! *realizes I’ve just claimed to be British and backtracks* Oh, non, pas de l’Angleterre, mais les Etats-Unis! Georgie!

Elder: *slightly thrown by my enthusiasm I think, but still uber friendly* Ah, il fait chaud?

Me: *il fait chaud, uh, il fait chaud… IT’S HOT* oui, il fait chaud! *decides he’s probably annoyed of me repeating things back to him* Mais, j’ai assiste au festival du Cannes. Le festival du film?

And then we pleasantly chat some more about train and bus schedules and we go our merry way in the grocery store.

Contrary to popular belief, French people are very friendly! It’s only when you do something dumb or really tourist-y that people get annoyed.

benedictatorship:

sassysharpshooter:

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

when I find myself in times of trouble

sherlock holmes comes to me

speaking words of wisdom

don’t be an idiot

And in my hour of darkness

John Watson is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom

Alright Spock, take it easy

Lestrade be, Lestrade be, Lestrade be, Lestrade be

speaking words of wisdom

don’t commit suicide

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(Source: samanthapanther, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

• 2007: 17 and pregnant
• 2008: 16 and pregnant
• 2009: 15 and pregnant
• 2010: 14 and pregnant
• 2011: 13 and pregnant
• 2012: 12 and pregnant
• ...
• 2023: fetus and pregnant

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

(Source: dallasclayton)

(Source: serjaime, via mycroft)

consultingtimelordintheshire:

when people say they’ll be angry if sherlock and john don’t get together in the next series

(via sherlockstolethetardisfromcas)

“It’s a Monday.”

“It was so quiet, I heard a fly fart. It was quite beautiful, actually.”

(Source: justinsharkrichards, via sherlockstolethetardisfromcas)

cumberqueen:

lornasp:

Mr Cumber Butch Sherlock star shows off toned physique

IF you want to know why Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch is The Sun’s Sexiest Man, here’s a big clue.

Benedict, 35, showed off his toned physique as he relaxed in the sea in Los Angeles.

He also played games on the beach with pals — sporting bird-print shorts and shades.

Benedict was voted No1 by readers ahead of David Beckham and TOWIE’s Joey Essex — even though the modest star reckons he looks like a racehorse.

I’m like:

and:

and:

Raging emotions.

• Teachers: Don't talk to strangers online.
• Parents: Don't talk to strangers online.
• Everyone: Don't talk to strangers online.
• Me: They aren't strangers if we have the same favorite band.

(Source: hannahmaxima, via ireneadlered)

(Source: iamliketinkerbell, via sherlockstolethetardisfromcas)